Month: January 2017

Masking tape I just don’t get it , it’s the most useless pointless stuff I have never really used 😉 re- painting my kitchen this week … all I hear is remember and use masking tape and cling film your cupboard doors…. what the fuck!!!! Why why why ??? Ok it’s a new kitchen and had already decided that a roller was a no no because of the splatter factor but cling film really … that’s just,  well a waste of bloody cling film and anyway that stuff never never comes off the roll properly!!! So after some thought decided not to tie myself in knots with the cling film ….blatant lie I dismissed it as soon as it was mentioned and probably sniggered too 😉 

But the masking tape … mmm did consider it for a moment but remembered the last time I even bothered … it doesn’t friggin stick , it’s never pissing straight no matter how hard you try and unless you use the paint block ( my price has been hiked to astronomical proportions because I promise you pure straight line magic and I’m a prettier color )  then it’s gonna bleed and you’ll have to touch up anyway . 

But what about your cutting in ? Round the ceiling and stuff …. well I masked off the ceiling once , end result was a wonky edge and a big blob of paint about 6inches  from the edge ( taping the entire ceiling seems a tad extreme ) so pretty much decided it was a stupid pointless exercise and a serious time stealer much like ironing !!! Best thing for cutting in is a steady hand , not being all delicate with the paint , use a decent size brush and practice practice practice and I like to think I pretty much have it nailed now . 🙂 

I will say the green 🐸 tape stuff is great when doing smaller things such as furniture but for decorating nah , I think you have guessed,I just wouldn’t bother ! 

I sent after pictures to one of those who told me to use the tape … the reply ” looks good , but I can’t see any tape or cling film anywhere !?!?!? ” more to the point can you see any fucking paint where it’s not meant to be ???? Eh that would be a NO!!! Before after …. no blue splodges on my ceiling 😉 

Anything remotely arty , will throw up a challenge and I for one will rise to said challenge with balls !!! I’m a stubborn bitch to say the least , I have these ideas sometimes just pop into my head …. I probably don’t have any bloody idea on how you going about making it … but being as stubborn as I am I will hunt down every piece of information and if the urge is strong enough I will make it !! And too be fair it usually is 😉 

Recently it was copper leafing an entire wall in my kitchen … well I rarely use the stuff and when I do because it’s so frigging  fragile you use 10 times more than what you need right … never really got to grips with it !!! Anyway I did my research …. found it … transfer leaf simple as putting on one of those shitty kids tattoos , well kind of ! So got my 495 sheets … doddle … eh no ! took me days and days , it still sticks to your fingers and it still floats about the air … pretty though ❤️ patience is the key, well I’m more bull in a China shop type human don’t like to wait …. but I got there with bald bits … which had to patched up with the non transfer stuff which was frankly just shite … perseverance pays off though and it looks pretty good 🙂 bit of fake oxidization too … more days and we were good to go 🙂  This is the outcome of stubborn xxx 

Im not the only one to set challenges for me …. I did have a customer ask me for cat bunk beds and I actually delivered in fact made a few and sold them all pretty cute they were too …. ❤️

My husband is the worst though … ” oh you will have to come up with something new for my shops window for Christmas” … so from there came yoga baubles !! ” Oh what about Halloween I need a pumpkin carved ” being a butcher shop I racked my brains … I know ..A highland coo !!! Well did he not say the one thing you should never say to a stubborn cow …. bet you can’t !!!! Haha challenge accepted idiot  !!!! 

I had never carved a pumpkin without the aid of a stencil before … but plonked my arse down on sofa , cup of tea, chocolate and a giant pumpkin wedged between my knees and set to work ….. 6 hrs it took me in total while my kids ignored me or maybe I ignored them who knows I was in the zone 😉 ….photo messaging my husband updates  who was half pissed in his local pub …. it was scary to make the first cut but I did it and Boris was fucking awesome ….. my husband came home pissed as a fart and  said ” that’s friggin awesome , now what you doing for next year to top that ???? ” FUCK WIT !!! Boris 🙂 

Much love ❤️ Jo 

Furniture up-cycling or to the purists  among you furniture painting, ( so many bloody agurments about this, trust me ! ) I’m good at keeping quiet as sometimes it’s not worth the argument but unfortunately I have one of those faces … you know the one that actually says … oh do shut the fuck up, life is actually too short for this shit!!!  Technically to up -cycle is to change the use of something …. well I still say up-cycling because if I didn’t paint it … it would have been skipped or firewood so in my mind I was changing its use 😂

Anyway I did run my own up-cycling business for a couple of years quite successfully , don’t get me wrong it didn’t make me rich but it gave me a few extra pennies for more paint 🙂 Let me tell you now, you will never get rich painting furniture no matter how good you are so don’t bother your arse starting if you think that’s gonna be the case ! You will however get covered in paint, get stressed, get messages in the middle of the night( that’s for another day ) get blisters and strong arms …. the last one will mostly apply if you live in a house like mine where none of your teenage children will ever help you, mainly because they think you’re a tank and can lift anything all by yourself …. I can but really didn’t  want to ! But it will also give you a sense of peace once you get started and a sense of achievement once your piece is completed and you are happy with it :). ….. that is until it’s time for the customer to get it back and you are scrambling about on your hands and knees checking and checking again , checking its scratch proof , checking no one set a cup on it when you weren’t looking , checking you toddler didn’t stick something hideous to it , checked you didn’t miss a single piece of the bloody furniture !!! Then you will turn the damn thing upside down and check again …. then the doorbell goes and you really just want them to pick it up , hand you money , tell you how amazing you are and then leave , not because you are ungrateful you really just don’t want them to see you crack up after all your checking stress !!!

But then for a least a day or until they tag you in a Facebook post saying it looks affie bonnie and they are well chuffed …. then and only then will you relax …. I mean Fuck Me I have 4 sons and none of them have ever stressed me as much as my early days as a furniture painter oops up-cycler ….

But you will put yourself through it again and again and again and your confidence will grow along with it … I mean your checking time might even diminish completely , haha  doubtful that would just mean you were a tad cocky and deserve an epic fail !!! Stress is there for a reason right !!!!

Much love ❤️ Jo

Well here goes … the beginning is everything …?mmm utter garbage the end outcome is everything right !!!

Yeah talking about all thing remotely arty … I’ve spent most of my life loving to be arty, I was a novice in everything , I can’t really draw or paint a masterpiece and get too ratty with it anyway, I’m a slob and a perfectionist. I can take a month to do a days work or a day to do a months work no in between !!!

I would like to share some stories and information about things I have done over the years , cut through the nonsense about products, social media, customers, kids, pets and a whole host of other malarkey about being a craft obsessed creative junky , I warn you now I will swear, a lot I live in Scotland and I’m creative it comes with the terrortity and apparently makes you a bit of a genius , haha just saying .

I hope you enjoy my blog … like everything else I’ve ever tried I am a beginner , so this will undoubtly confuse the bastarding hell out of me for a while but I guess nothing comes easy 🙂 Enjoy xxx much love ❤ Jo